»I'm assuming the reader isn't currently experiencing a zombie outbreak. If you are, skip down to the next section. [...]
First, get to know the guy in town who bought a pallet of Spam to survive Y2K. He probably still has a ton of that stuff around, and knows all the good hiding places.
Next, scout out all the big box retailers that carry ammo and food. [...]
I don't recommend telling them you're preparing for a zombie invasion. «